Mynameispocky

Hello! This is a blog and it contain things

Next pageArchive

crowley-is-moriarty-is-a-dalek:

lllsllow-dancing:

onehappyfangirl:

look at the way ellen looks at her. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. 

(Source: hesolvescrimesandiblogaboutit, via mybine)

teabeforewar:

teabeforewar:

I love how silly otters look when they run.

Reblogging because I added John.

(via i-hatebeingalone)

spiza:

im a wimp when it comes to waxing my legs so i figured out a way to do it.

(via tinydanolion)

GUYS SO I JUST REALISED….

biblioblimoo:

EVERYONES VOICES SOUND DIFFERENT ON CAMERA

SO THAT MEANS

DAN AND PHIL

DON’T ACTUALLY SOUND LIKE THAT….

(via amazing-jill)

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

source

(Source: whothefuckisjessicalange, via somewhere-in-tacoland)

(Source: seanmorrisons, via neldabynow)

gossipgran:

i get so excited when i find out that someone hates the same person as me

(via thestorys0-lame)

ispankmyturtle:

why is it that everyone can be an asshole towards me and that’s perfectly fine but the minute i have had enough and act like an asshole its all of a sudden not okay

(via adayinthelifeofdanandphil)

Reblog if a teacher has ever

cas-has-stolen-the-tardis:

Bullied you, talked to you like you were stupid, , made you feel uncomfortable, offended you, harassed you, made you feel like you were dumb, made fun of you, ignored you, or talked down to you

Im trying to prove a point to my father that teachers can be as hurtful as the students

(via adayinthelifeofdanandphil)

troylered:

Hey you, yes you!! Please don’t forget you’re worth it and there’s at least one person who really cares about you although it doesn’t always seem like that. And if not, I am this person, okay? My inbox is always open for you and if you need help, I’ll try my best to help you, no matter what it is about

(via amazing-jill)

(Source: craigy-fergs, via twistedinsanitydownfallhumanity)

thevirginiaboy:

Legit can’t stop laughing

(Source: katsallday, via tardis221b)